(中文在下方)
I need to go and see my dentist. I’m now having trouble eating as my jaw seems to be dropping more each day. It’s a shame the Health Minister, Uncle Chen, is not still practising as he seems such a nice guy and clearly does a good job in a carefully thought out and measured way. I’d certainly trust him to fix my newly dropped jaw.
I honestly can’t believe that Mr Wannabe is throwing his toys out of his pram over what an aging journalist -- who is generally more concerned about his orchid cuttings or worried that his homemade Ginger Beer is going to explode and destroy the fridge -- is saying.
I really don’t get what is going on in his head. I would have to pay a Public Relations company thousands of dollars a day for the kind of publicity he is providing us for free. I daresay there is a trade group for public relationship companies in Taiwan and they really should get onto him as he is a one-man publicity machine.
“If we somehow do get you through to representing the KMT at the next election you are going to need to stop getting so upset with people who don’t really matter in the grand scheme of things.”
I’m sure this anonymous adviser is scanning the Sunday Editions of the Jobs Vacant listings as we speak. I would be if I were him because there doesn’t seem a whole lot of future in his current job.
It’s true that all politicians, or wannabe politicians are a bit paranoid and it’s generally accepted that it goes with the turf. It’s like saying performers are egotistical, or course they are, or they wouldn’t be performers. But for a politician it usually manifests itself after a time in high office. There are many examples too numerous to mention here.
Here, for your convenience dear reader., is the definition of paranoia I cut and pasted from Google
"Some identifiable beliefs and behaviours of individuals with symptoms of paranoia include mistrust, hypervigilance, difficulty with forgiveness, defensive attitude in response to imagined criticism, preoccupation with hidden motives, fear of being deceived or taken advantage of, inability to relax, or are argumentative.”
I’m as far away from being a psychologist as Mr Wannabe is from being President, but he seems to be exhibiting quite a few of those, er, shall we say... qualities.
Just to put the record straight, yet again, given the amount of rubbish that is going around about my career, here is my CV which has been available on the internet for a couple of decades now. Just to be super-super clear...I no longer work for Reuters and don’t represent them in any way. I also do not represent any other foreign media.
I’ll also repeat that neither of us have any association with the DPP and we are not members of the party. We are simply independent people exercising their right to free speech. There is nothing sinister here...we are simply pointing and laughing at dimwits who either are politicians, or aspire to be, and praising what we perceive to be people in government doing a good job.
https://sites.google.com/site/philsmithcurriculumvitae/
But I would like to very sincerely thank Mr Wannabe as he has increased the hits to our blog by 10s of thousands just in the last couple of days and helped us with huge free publicity. If he carries on at this rate we’ll have millions of followers come the next election. We couldn’t have done it without him...so heartfelt thanks.
Tinkerty Tonk...
《 我要找誰付我的牙科賬單？》
我得去牙科掛號。我現在連吃東西都有困難，因為我的下巴似乎每天都在掉下來。令人遺憾的是，衛福部長陳叔叔已經不再執業。他看起來是個好人，而且顯然以經過深思熟慮的方式把工作做得很好，我當然會信任他把我最近掉下來的下巴治好。
老實說，我無法相信肖想先生 (Mr Wannabe) 還在罵罵號把他的玩具從嬰兒車裡丟出來，只因為一個老記者寫了幾篇文章。其實這個老記者通常更關心他陽台上的蘭花插枝，或者擔心他自製的薑汁啤酒會不會在冰箱裡爆炸，然後得換冰箱。
我真的不懂肖想先生腦子裡到底在想什麼，最近他幫我們做了些宣傳，如果我找一家公關公司幫我這麼做，可能要花好幾千美元。這個人有這麼糟的自我宣傳，台灣的公關公司真的應該去找他做一筆生意。
你不得不懷疑他還有多少事情要搞錯，還要多久才會有個幕僚把他拉到一邊，提醒他別再說些奇奇怪怪匪夷所思的事。為了不讓他難堪，這個幕僚可能對他耳語：“呃，老闆，我不知道你這樣說是不是夠聰明......雖然你距離總統職位還有好幾個光年的差距，找一個退休記者的碴實在不是一個好主意。順便說一下，他不是美國人，你需要稍微冷靜一下。”
“如果我們想要讓 KMT 提名你，那些對選舉大局無關痛癢的人，你真的沒有必要跟他們氣噗噗。”
在我寫這篇文章的時候，這位幕僚應該正在瀏覽週日版的求職網站。如果我是他，我一定會這麼做，因為如果你看看他的老闆，他目前的工作似乎沒有什麼前途。
的確，所有的政治家或想成為政治家的人都有點偏執，人們普遍同意他們就是這樣。這就像表演者通常很自負，或者他們當然是這樣，否則他們就不會是表演者。不過對於政治家來說，這種偏執通常在他們位高權重之後才會顯現出來。例子太多了，這裡就不一一列舉。
親愛的讀者，為了讓你們方便不必再去找，這是我從谷歌複製貼上關於偏執的定義。
“有偏執症狀的人通常有些可識別的症狀，包括不信任、過度警覺、難以原諒、對想像中的批評採取防禦態度、時時懷疑他人有隱藏動機、害怕被欺騙或被利用、無法放鬆或是好爭辯”
我離成為一名心理學家就像肖想先生離成為總統一樣遙遠，但他似乎展示了很多，呃，我們可以說(偏執的)特質。
考慮到最近關於我職業生涯的一些胡言亂語，我在這裡附上我的簡歷，這已經在網路上存在了幾十年。同時我也要再度說的超級超級清楚：我早已不再為路透社工作，不以任何方式代表他們，也不代表任何其他的“外國”媒體。
我還要再說一遍，我和我的太太與 DPP 沒有任何關係，我們也不是黨員，我們只是行使言論自由權的獨立人士，這不是什麼邪惡認知作戰，我們只是指著政客或渴望成為政治家的笨蛋哈哈大笑，並讚揚我們認為政府中做得很好的人。
https://sites.google.com/site/philsmithcurriculumvitae/
最後我還是要非常真誠地感謝肖想先生，因為他在過去幾天內的免費大量宣傳，將我們設立不過幾星期的部落格點擊增加了十倍。如果他以這種速度繼續無料宣傳下去，下次選舉之前，說不定將有數百萬的追踪者和我們一起歡樂看戲。沒有他，我們不可能做到這一點，衷心感謝。
Tinkerty Tonk... 掰掰。
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