Tuesday, August 10, 2021

Vaccines? - HA, I laugh in the face of vaccines

I was wondering the other day why I seem to have so little patience with anti-vaxxers who have lately reached the heights of absurdity, in as much as people have been claiming it makes them magnetic or bluetooth enabled.

(Please God, make me bluetooth enabled so when J and I are in the car I can just think my “yes dear” and “no dear” replies to her various political rants and have the car stereo articulate my reply...usually once every five kilometers on the highway.)

There being no ceiling in the Toyota so it is harder for me to escape these diatribes when we are in the car, plus the fact we have not been travelling much due to the little outbreak we all suffered in Taipei and New Taipei City. So just lately the issue has not been so acute.  

So I counted them. These do not include the dozens I had when I was a young child growing up in the UK but since my move to Asia in 1997. I have had a total of 24 vaccines from the time I left the UK for Asia in the mid-1990s through my trips back and forth to India and China, plus one Yellow Fever we needed to go and teach a Hostile Environment Awareness Course for journalists in Africa for Xinhua. Of course, most recently, the Covid shot.  

Joyce, of course, has had a similar number having traipsed all over Asia with me and my job.

I remember well the visit to the Inoculation Centre in Sydney, prior to our departure for Bombay. 

We dutifully arrived at the centre in Bligh Street Sydney and were shown into a well turned out modern office with a tiny and fragile looking Indian lady doctor behind a huge desk. 

She peered at us over the top of half-moon spectacles and cheerfully asked if the notes she had were correct and we were heading for India. We said yes.

She chirruped and tilted her head like a curious bird and told us how she was born and spent the first few years of her life in Bombay and how she envied us and how she would love to return to see the place.

She picked up a small book… this is how the conversation went… 

Dr - OK, how long for, is this just a holiday or a business trip, or something longer? she said, opening the slim edition.  

Me - Three to five years. 

She put down the book and dragged, across a larger edition which she opened. 

Dr - Right, will you be staying only in Bombay?

Me - No, we will both be travelling throughout India. 

She closed that book and dragged across another and opened it.

Dr - Only staying in India?

Me - No, I’ll be travelling to Afghanistan, Sri Lanka, Bangladesh, Pakistan and possibly anywhere else in South Asia. 

She looked me in the eye…

Dr - In rural areas too? 

Me - Oh yes, very possibly, all of those. 

She smiled, tilted her bird-like head the other way, snapped the large book shut and declared. 

“I’ll give you the lot...just be on the safe side.” 

So poor Mrs Smith had to endure all the shots. From memory we had two or three visits to complete all the shots we needed which in total was 17 separate vaccines for our trip to India. Some, like the Covid shots, were twinned to complete the first course. 

Did we ever think we were in any danger, not for a moment. Did we think it was not the sensible thing to do, not for a moment. Did we trust the doctors and the science, of course. 

(Speaking of which, my brother is a medical physicist/scientist and while I’d not trust him to walk my dog….I do trust his science.) 

I’m still surprised that vaccine juice is not leaking out of my ears after all this time given how much has been injected into me over the past 25 years. Not to mention what was stabbed into me as a child in the UK.

As the old English proverb says. “Diseases come on horseback, but steal away on foot.” Getting as many people vaccinated is the only way to beat Covid, and it will take more time.  

This is just one small reason I have no time for anti-vaxxers.

Tinkerty Tonk... 

《 疫苗?到底有什麼問題!》

前幾天我想到一件事,為什麼我對反疫苗者毫無耐心,因為他們已經到達近乎荒謬的境界,聲稱疫苗具有磁性和藍牙功能。

(拜託上帝,真是這樣的話請讓我啟用我體內的藍牙,這樣當 J 和我在車子裡時,我就可以在腦海裡想像“是的,親愛的”和“不是的,親愛的”,讓汽車音響清楚地代我回答她的各種政治抱怨,這通常在高速公路上每五公里就會發生一次。)

我們的豐田汽車沒有天花板,所以當我們在車裡時,她無法衝上天花板我難以擺脫這些抱怨,不過由於我們所在的雙北這幾個月有小規模的疫情爆發,我們無法經常旅行,所以最近這個問題還沒有那麼明顯。

我一直在想的是我一生中接種了多少次疫苗。

於是我數了數,不包括我小時候在英國長大期間接種的幾十種疫苗,但自從我 1997 年搬到亞洲以來,應該是說從 1990 年代中期準備離開英國前往亞洲以來,我總共接種了 24 種疫苗。

這包括我派駐印度兩次和中國一次,還得加上黃熱病疫苗,當時我去非洲幫中國新華社派駐非洲的記者開了一門如何在危險環境中採訪的訓練課程。最近我已經在台灣接種了兩劑 AZ 疫苗。

當然,喬伊斯也有類似的經歷,因為她跟著我和我的工作,在亞洲各地遊蕩。

我們從澳洲啟程前往印度之前,在雪梨市區接種中心發生的事,至今我還記得很清楚。

路透社安排我們拜訪雪梨市區布萊街的醫療中心,當天我們被帶進一間裝修精美的現代化辦公室,在一張巨大的辦公桌後面,坐著一位外表嬌小的印度裔女醫生。

她抬起眼從半月形眼鏡的上端凝視著我們,接著很開心地確認預約記錄上我們即將前往印度是否正確。我們說是的。

她像一隻好奇的小鳥一樣啾啾地說著話,歪著頭,告訴我們她出生在孟買和如何在那裡度過她生命中的最初幾年,她又是如何嫉妒我們可以去住在孟買,以及她是如何喜歡拜訪孟買。

她拿出一本不太厚的疫苗指引,我們談話是這樣進行的……

醫生:好的,你們要去那兒多久?這只是假期或商務旅行,還是更長的時間?她邊說邊翻開那本疫苗參考書。

我:三到五年。

她放下那本,抽出比較厚的另一本,打開。

 醫生:好,你們會只待在孟買嗎?

 我:不,我們將會在整個印度旅行。

 她合上那本,抽出另一本,打開。

 醫生:只待在印度?

我:不,我會前往阿富汗、斯里蘭卡、孟加拉、巴基斯坦以及南亞的其他任何地方。

醫生現在看著我的眼睛……

醫生:農村地區也會去是嗎?

我:哦,是的,很可能,所有的地方都有可能。

她微笑著,把她那像小鳥一樣的腦袋歪向另一邊,啪地一聲合上那本厚厚的疫苗指南對著我們宣布。

 “我把全部可能的疫苗都給你們……只是為了安全起見。”

可憐的史密斯太太不得不忍受一針又一針。根據記憶,我們造訪了接種中心幾次才能完成我們需要的所有疫苗,總共17種。有些跟 Covid 疫苗一樣,必須打兩針。

打了這麼多疫苗,我們有沒有想過我們處於危險之中,一刻也沒有。 我們是否認為這不是明智的做法,一刻也沒有。我們是否相信醫生和科學?當然。。

(我哥哥是醫學物理學家,如果我們有養狗我不會放心他幫我去遛狗,但我相信他的科學。)

其實我很驚訝,即使過了這麼久,那些疫苗也沒有從我的耳朵裡滿出來。

就像一個古老英國諺語說的,疾病騎在馬背上飛馳而來,卻安步當車散步而去。盡量讓更多人施打疫苗,是對抗 Covid 的辦法,雖然過程會很長。

這只是我對那些反疫苗者零容忍的一個小原因而已。

Tinkerty Tonk… 掰掰。


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