Thursday, May 25, 2023

Power Sharing?

I had to set aside my usual assumption that Dr Ko is stuck together with stupid glue, when I was told he was openly saying that if he wins the Presidency he will form an all-party coalition to run the country.

Of course, I immediately had to start making assumptions again, like, he would be good to his word and do such a thing in the highly unlikely event that he wins, but let’s for a moment give him the benefit of the doubt. 

This is actually a fairly astute ploy, as there is broadly no downside but potentially a fair amount of upside in terms of attracting votes. It won’t impact the thinking of those who pay attention and take an interest in politics, who will immediately know it is nonsense, but for those who don’t it could be a vote catcher for him.

There are many people who take zero interest in politics and there is also a great swathe of the population who broadly dislike all politicians - as I do myself, quite frankly. 

For these groups, casting their ballot on the day is a chore and many just don't bother. 

For those who feel they should vote but can’t be bothered to pay close attention to dozens of promises and speeches in the run-up…voting for what they think is a coalition means they can vote for everybody at the same time..YAY. 

Their conscience is clear that they have indeed preserved democracy and voted, and a coalition means all political views will get an airing in any decision so everything will be great, right? Wrong!

A potential flaw is that if he wins, he won’t give up the power and share it with coalition partners. Ko has proved many times that he is self-centered and power hungry. 

The other, and fatal, flaw is that even if he does win he has no control over what happens in Parliament in terms of who makes up the majority, via a coalition or not. It is not up to him to decide. 

So once again, gentle reader, my initial assumption was correct that he has fallen out of a stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.    

Nevertheless, for those who take little interest in politics, the promise of some vague notion of power sharing between the parties might throw a few votes his way that he otherwise might not have attracted. 

Tinkerty Tonk   


Wednesday, May 17, 2023

Deputy Denny

(中文在下方)

Good Evening Boys and Girls. Auntie Cat and Uncle Squirrel played a fun game today. Can you guess what game we played? 

That’s right, we played Spot the Oaf!

Can you also guess which one we spotted? 

Well done, right again… it was none other than the New Taipei City Mayor who the KMT have, in a somewhat distracted way, chosen as their presidential candidate for the election next year. Mind you, their field of potential choices was thinner than Terry Gou’s toupee so it was pretty much as expected.  

Our jovial coconut-headed Cop looked caszh in jeans and open-necked shirt, threw regulation police salutes to an adoring crowd looking for all the world like he was ready to charge into the next hail of bullets that happens along to save everyone from harm and do the right thing by everyone, oh, and the ROC, of course.

Strikes me, that is kind of what he always says when asked questions ranging from foreign policy to wind-farms. He will always guarantee he will do the right thing and stand up for the ROC. 

Odd how it all sounds like the oath he recited when joined up as a fresh-faced rookie cop all those decades ago. 

”I swear solemnly that I will well and truly abide by national laws and dedicate myself to serving our country; perform the duties and exercise the power by the law. I will serve the people to my best of knowledge and skill in a humble and peaceful manner.”

Although he’s obviously forgotten the “humble” bit.

Tinkerty Tonk...


Good evening boys and girls! 天花板上的貓阿姨和松鼠叔叔今天玩了一個有趣的遊戲,你能猜出我們玩的是什麼遊戲嗎?沒錯,我們玩了 Spot the Oaf!

Oaf 是什麼?A man who is rough or clumsy and unintelligent. 粗糙笨拙而且不聰明的人,我們英國人常用來形容無趣之人的一個字。

你能猜出我們發現了哪一個 oaf 嗎?又猜對了!就是國民黨在明年的總統選舉中,有點心不在焉地選擇了個參選人。不過請注意,他們的潛在選擇範圍,比泰瑞郭的假髮要薄,所以這個結果跟預期也所差無幾。

新聞照片上我們快樂的椰子頭警察,穿著牛仔褲和開領襯衫看起來很休閒,向一群崇拜者煞有介事舉手敬禮,就像他已經準備好衝進下一場槍林彈雨中,拯救每一個人讓他們免受傷害,為每一個人做正確的事,哦,當然還有為了中華民國這個國家。

讓我印象深刻的是,當被問及從外交政策到風電場的問題時,他總是這麼說,他保證他會好好做事,並為台灣挺身而出。

奇怪的是,這一切聽起來多麼像幾十年前他作為一名菜鳥警察加入時,宣誓背誦的警察人員誓言。

「余誓以至誠,恪遵國家法令,盡忠職守,報效國家;依法執行任務,行使職權;勤謹謙和,為民服務。如違誓言,願受最嚴厲之處罰,謹誓。」

雖然他顯然忘記了「 謙和」的部分。

Tinkerty Tonk... 掰掰!

Tuesday, May 16, 2023

Passport please - and what is the purpose of your visit?

There have been many highly educated and knowledgeable leaders throughout history with finely tuned intellects, sharp analytical skills, a deep and abiding humanity and an uncanny ability to build and achieve the best outcome for oftimes seemingly impossible situations.

These are the people whose memory endures, are revered in the history books and are rightly lauded as having benefited mankind, be it in a broad, or narrow sense.

Of course, with greatness comes ego. By definition such people have to possess self-esteem and belief in themselves to achieve great things. It is when this self-belief spills over into conceit that negatives begin to become manifest. Or when pure egotists let rip and march ahead regardless without the attendant knowledge or skills to handle a situation properly.  

Albert Einstein, certainly one of the smartest people who ever walked the earth, viewed ego as a simple equation. Ego = 1/Knowledge

Using this simple equation it’s easy to look back and know immediately where ego was, or is,  justified in our leaders.

Which is why my old British heart sank when I heard that failed, widely ridiculed, figure-of-fun and worthless Parliamentarian ex-UK Prime Minister Mary Elizabeth Truss was to visit my adopted homeland apparently to pontificate about Taiwan’s geopolitical situation.

Alongside like-minded UK politicians, I think her visit is a bad idea. Not because I don’t fully support foreign politicians, diplomats and intellectuals coming here to support Taiwan and President’s Tsai’s geopolitical stance, but because, sadly, she is just too stupid to add anything meaningful to the debate, and could, indeed, do harm. 

That may sound harsh, but it is based on fact. She recently broke the record for the shortest-serving Prime Minister in British history by serving just 45 days, beating the record by several weeks and that of someone who died in office in 1827 after 119 days. She effectively bankrupted the UK economy with ill-thought out and entirely ridiculous tax policies. 

In the British weekend papers, which held Truss as “the disgraced former prime minister” a fellow British member of parliament described her trip as a vanity project to help Truss “keep herself relevant.” Her fellow Conservative MP, Alicia Kearns went on to say the trip was “the worst kind of Instagram diplomacy” and Truss’s confrontational antics could make things worse for Taiwan. Her trip is "performative, not substantive," Kearns added.

Which takes me back to Einstein's equation. If you do the maths the ego comes out at close to infinitely large as one divided by something very tiny is close to infinity. 

Truss is not a thinker and has never shown her knowledge of global affairs as anything by trite. Her massive U-turn on Brexit is famous in the UK as she turned from once an enthusiastic backer of the UK's EU membership and voting "Remain" in the 2016 referendum and speaking out of the need to remain in the EU's single market which she described as “so precious” to undergoing a remarkable and almost instantaneous transformation into an ardent backer of Brexit when she saw it could gain her some political capital at home.

We all put up with political lightweights, generally know who they are, and the democratic process eventually weeds them out. It’s not perfect, by any means, but it’s the best process we have. There are shameless political shape-changers, Truss is one of them. 

What I object to is when the selfish motives of intellectual lightweights with massive egos and  their eye only on boosting their own political future in their own country, decide to stick their nose where it is not really wanted. Ergo UK Member of Parliament Mary Elizabeth Truss.

My heartfelt thanks to those politicians, diplomats and others who come to Taiwan with the aim of lending support and genuine help. But please, if you think just because Taiwan is a global headline story at the moment, a visit is easy and might just do your standing at home some good, stay away, please. I very much suspect, as do many others in the UK, that these are Truss’s motives with this trip.

I am certain President Tsai is smart enough not to actually share a platform with what is one of the dullest knives in the UK political kitchen, and that any meeting will be low key and not for the record. Truss is just an MP so I guess diplomatic protocol dictates a one-on-one is highly unlikely. 

The MOFA website is, of course, diplomatic in its language, welcoming her visit to “strengthen the already close and friendly ties between Taiwan and the United Kingdom.” 

The rest of the wording must have been a bit of a struggle for them as history shows her all too brief involvement in cross-strait affairs first as UK secretary of state for foreign, commonwealth and development affairs for just one year and then as Prime Minister for a flash-dance 45 days.

The poor old MOFA people had to make the right noises and they did a good job, but I would take issue with their use of Truss having ”long been” a staunch supporter of Taiwan. Given her record on policy U-turns, her cat-like ability to chase a laser pointer green dot will only last as long as a red-feather becoming more interesting and worthy of her attention.

I really hope her visit achieves something positive in the form of military aid and in Truss’s words “hard power” for Taiwan, I really do. I just somehow doubt it as she no longer has any political clout, so be prepared for disappointment, for all the above reasons. I really hope I’m proved wrong.

Taiwan needs friends, of that there is no doubt and it would be churlish and dangerous to refuse entry to anyone willing to speak out on its behalf. After all, the Enemy of my Enemy is my Friend as the old saying goes. It is just much more constructive to encourage those with real clout. 

Of course the government could not have refused permission for Truss to come but the real danger in this particular case is she may do or say something that is actually damaging to relationships with other countries which are of material help. Just look at her recent history and it is not unreasonable to describe her as a one-woman disaster zone.

I am not the only one thinking she is grabbing a selfish political opportunity by inserting herself into a story which will carry global headlines, much as other politicians have used Ukraine. 

Believe me, if the Taiwan situation was not such a global headline grabber, she would not be here. 

Of course, the cynical journalist in me might suggest having had loads of play in the British press at the weekend with some well-timed comments the Truss entourage will leave Taiwan on May 20, which just happens to be a Saturday and just in time for a huge round of weekend press briefings and interviews. 

Perhaps I misjudge her, and the now irrelevant ex-PM had no such thing in mind, but I very much doubt it. 

I would so like to be the Immigration Officer stamping her passport today... "Welcome to Taiwan, and what exactly is the  purpose of your visit?”

Tinkerty Tonk...