Fair Play

(中文在下方)

The phrase ‘fair play’ is used a lot in Britain. It is instilled in most of us from our school days and basically means that one of your core values in life is to be fair to others, whoever, or whatever they may be. 

You don’t shoot a sitting duck, you don’t bully others, you play by the rules and you make allowances for weaknesses in others which they perhaps have no control over. 

To that end, as a native Brit, I have decided to stop ridiculing Mayor Ko on such a regular basis, unless he does something really stupid. To exert a degree of control over myself I have devised a scale of 1 to 5, and only something 3 or above will be commented on. 

1 = Normal forgivable stupidity which might happen to someone not paying attention.
2 = Ridiculous statements made off-the-cuff with clearly little forethought. 
3 = Blaming others for personal stupidity or inadequacies. Outright stupid statements. 
4 = Spectacularly moronic utterances or deeds which fly in the face of logic or rationality. 
5 = Anything that initially leaves people speechless as it appears so utterly inane.

I’m calling this the Squirrel Scale - a sort of political Richter Scale - and it will be quoted at the top of future stories regardless of which political party is involved.

So, in future Mayor Ko can rest assured I will not document his regular failures with such gusto as long as he keeps within the lower part of the Squirrel Scale guidelines. If he falls flat on his face while walking up some steps, there will be no mention, if he dresses poorly and has bad manners at an official function, there will be no words from me. 

If he talks about his run at the Presidency, it will be a 5 and I will be chiming in. 

Tinkerty Tonk…     

公平競爭 (fair play) 這個詞在英國被廣泛使用，我們從學生時代開始就不停被灌輸這個態度，基本上意思是生活中的核心價值之一就是對他人公平，無論他們是誰。

打獵時你不射擊靜止不動的鴨子，你不霸凌別人，你遵守規則，你會考慮到別人可能無法控制的弱點。

如上，作為一個土生土長的英國人，我決定停止如此經常地嘲笑柯市長，除非他做了一些非常愚蠢的事情。為了對自己施加一定程度的控制，我設計了一個 1 到 5 級的量表，今後只有 3 級或以上的強度我才會評論。

1. 可原諒的愚蠢行為，不經意時可能出現在任何人身上。

2. 即興發表的荒謬言論，這種表現顯然沒有經過深思熟慮，可容忍。

3. 因個人的愚蠢或不足而責怪他人，這種怪罪是徹頭徹尾的愚蠢言論。

4. 任何與邏輯或理性背道而馳，極其低能的言論或行為。

5. 讓人們一聽到就無言，空洞絕頂的任何言論。

這個級別表我稱之為松鼠量表，是一種政治芮氏地震量表，無論涉及哪個政黨，未來評論我都會開宗明義引用。

所以今後柯市長可以放心，只要他維持在松鼠量表指南的低階部分，我就不會如此熱情地記錄他的定期失誤。例如他走幾步就趴在地上，我絕對不會評論；如果他在公務行程中穿得不得體或是舉止不端，我也不會有意見。

如果他開始談論選總統，那將是松鼠量表5級，我會就會插個話。

Tinkerty Tonk...掰掰。