The Book/Food Tour

 

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With an empty car and an equally light heart we recently set out for our book launch tour, looking forward to meeting some of our online friends in this somewhat odd virtual world of relationships we all inhabit these days.

Little did I know that six days later I would be struggling in 35 degrees under the hot Kaohsiung sun to pack a mountain of food and other gifts from those kind enough to attend the book signings. 

I still wonder about the Taiwanese obsession with food. I guess I come from a country where the food is so crappy I’d not give it as a gift to anyone.

Why did Britain bother to conquer most of the world over a couple of centuries and ship home mountains of rare and exotic spices to stick with a diet like this? 

Although I have to say the one thing there I still love is HP sauce.

While I have long fallen out of love with stodgy British food, I do have to wonder about some of fads when it comes to the regional foods in Taiwan. 

Tainan, for example, and their apparent obsession with making everything they eat, sweet. 

Seafood is my absolute favourite and as we tucked into a dish of squid in Tainan, which was, of course, sweet, I casually asked the question "Is there a historical reason Tainan favours sweet food, is it because there was sugar cane grown here?"

Apparently not. So I'm still intrigued as to why and if anyone knows, perhaps they would be good enough to enlighten me in the comments section. 

We had huge support from all our friends and also from the Mayors of Tainan and Kaohsiung  who were kind enough to send messages of support and flowers. One display was as tall as I am so it was impossible for us to take in the car. I hope it remains in place and gives pleasure to visitors to the venue in the days and perhaps weeks to come.

My hope is we can do this again with the next book…

Hope to see you then.

Tinkerty tonk…

帶著和一輛空車同樣輕快的心情，我們最近展開了新書發表會之旅，希望離開現在所處這個有點奇怪充滿虛擬關係的世界，與一些朋友面對面。

我沒想到的是八天後，我在 35 度的高雄烈日下苦苦掙扎，試著把那些好心來參加新書會的讀者送給我們，像一座小山那麼高的一大堆食物和其他各式各樣的禮物擠進車子裡。

即使住在台灣一陣子了，我依舊無法理解台灣人對食物的痴迷。 可能是因為我來自一個食物如此糟糕的國家，我絕對不會把食物當作禮物送給任何人。

有時我不禁要想，為什麼大英帝國費心在幾個世紀內，征服世界大部分地區，並把稀有的異國香料飄洋過海一船一船運回國，現在卻堅持這樣的飲食：炸魚、薯條、焗扁豆、青豆泥？不過我不得不承認我仍然很喜歡的英國口味是HP醬。(喬伊斯註：裡面成分是許多印度香料)

我早已不再喜歡乏味的英國食物了，我很好奇也想知道台灣各地食物的一些特色。以台南為例，他們明顯沉溺於把他們吃的每樣東西都變甜。

海鮮是我最喜歡的食物，新書會結束後朋友帶我們去了台南一家歷史悠久的海鮮餐廳，一群人圍坐在騎樓下的圓桌，竟然被一位路過的讀者認出來！我夾起一塊三杯魷魚，當然是甜的。我隨口問了一個問題：台南喜歡甜食是否有歷史原因，是因為這裡種了甘蔗嗎？ ？

顯然不是。 所以我仍然感到好奇，如果有人知道，也許可以留言啟發我。

全台灣從北到南六場新書發表會，我們得到所有朋友的大力支持，包括來自台南市長和高雄市長的祝福，

盡地主之誼送來鮮花，台南的那盆蘭花和我一樣高，我們根本不可能把它塞帶進車裡帶回家。 我希望它保持原樣，並在未來幾天甚至幾週內，讓接下來參觀的遊客感覺賞心悅目。

同時我也希望，我們可以在下一本書發表時再重複一次這個經驗，與大家見面。

Tinkerty tonk…掰掰。

Mayor Blender-Brain does it again

中文在下方

Gaff prone Mayor Blender-Brian has done it again, causing a fresh patch of claw marks on our ceiling. I had to tempt the cat down this morning with the huge pile of food we received at last week’s book launches. For which many thanks indeed :)  

It would seem our much loved Mayor, that knock-about one-man comedy act, has yet again knocked his brain into neutral and blocked my resident feline from Facebook!

And to think, only recently he said “When a government hates people asking questions or thinks the peoples’ doubts about the government are fake and they suppress the people’s voice - That is the oppression of the people by the state machinery.”

Also, “The internet is a platform for young people to express their opinions everyday, we should cherish this hard won freedom. We should respect other people’s right to speak…let’s work together to deepen Taiwan’s democracy.”  

Do I detect the unwholesome whiff of hypocrisy here?     

The almost total lack of political acumen is breathtaking as censorship is the absolute worst thing any politician can be caught doing, particularly one who openly advocates free speech. 

How can you possibly trust such an individual with political power when he displays his political weakness and cowardice by censoring a member of the public who is simply expressing an opinion? 

I’m told his social media is run by a team of people paid for by the taxpayers of Taipei, but it seems that those who look at it are only allowed to post comments if they are supportive of him and anything that looks negative is banned.

If I didn’t know better, I’d say Taiwan is becoming like China!

Running scared of an unpaid member of the public who politely expresses opinions is laughable and pathetic, and most people are rightly just making fun of him over this. 

But there is also a serious point and tiny bits of censorship like this can be the thin end of the wedge when unscrupulous politicians manage to wield real power. It’s easy for them to hide behind censorship and it can be habit forming.

Laugh about this small incident by all means, but there is a sinister side to this kind of behavior. 

Tinkerty tonk…   

那個腦袋跟正在運作的攪拌機一樣的市長又來了，於是我們家的天花板出現了一批新的貓爪痕。 今天早上我不得不用我們在上週新書發表會上收到的一大堆食物 (非常感謝) 來把這頭衝到天花板上的貓引誘下來。

那位深受愛戴的市長，又來了個不好笑的單人喜劇表演，他的大腦再度暫停，並封鎖了我的家常駐在天花板上那頭貓，不讓她去他的臉書留言。

想想看，市長最近才說：討厭人民發問，甚至把任何對政府的質疑都打成造假，進而箝制人民發聲，這是國家機器對人民的壓迫。

此外他還說：網路是年輕人天天要用的發言平台，我們應該珍惜這得來不易的自由空間。 應該尊重他人的話語權，讓我們一起努力深化台灣的民主。

呃，我是否在這裡聞到了偽善的氣息？

市長先生幾乎完全缺乏政治敏銳的程度令人嘆為觀止，因為言論審查絕對是任何政治人物能被抓到最糟糕的事，尤其是來自那些公開倡導言論自由的虛偽政客。

政治人物審查一個表達意見的無償民眾，只顯示他在政治方面的無能和懦弱，你怎麼可能信任這樣一個人擁有政治權力？

我聽說他的社交媒體是由台北納稅人出錢的團隊經營的，但看起來似乎只有支持他的人才能發表評論，任何看起來負面的東西都得被禁止。如果我不是有那麼點常識，我還以為台灣正在變得像中國一樣！

害怕一個禮貌地表達意見的無償民眾是可笑可悲的，而大多數人在這方面取笑他非常正確。

但雖然可笑，這卻是個隱形的嚴重問題，就是當不道德的政客設法行使真正的權力時，像這樣微小不顯眼，多數人不在乎的言論審查，可能是一連串嚴重問題的開端。 他們很容易就可以躲在審查制度後面，而且把這當成習慣。

這樣一件看似歡樂的政治人物封鎖個人小事，你當然可以一笑置之，但別忘了這種行為也有邪惡的一面。

Tinkerty tonk… 掰掰。

Small potato or no potato?

I see Mayor Malfunction is giving into his innate narcissism again. He really is a shocker and obviously doesn’t care how obnoxious or idiotic he makes himself look.  

Saying Victor Wang is not an expert and a small potato is a bit rich coming from someone who has failed university entrance exams and only has knowledge in a small field of heart conditions and treatment. 

Dear old Victor on the other hand is an expert in Pulmonology, which manages patients who need life support and mechanical ventilation and are specially trained in diseases and conditions of the chest. 

Which I would have thought makes him far more of an expert with regards to Covid than our desperate and misfiring Mayor and the tiny area of the medical profession he worked in. 

Besides which, I’d rather be a small-potato than a rotten-potato and someone, in terms of his political position, will be no-potato come December. He is certainly well beyond his sell-by date. 

Tinkerty Tonk…