Thursday, March 31, 2022

Hypocrisy 101

(中文在下方)

Word of the Day today is Hypocrisy which is defined as “the practice of claiming to have higher standards or more noble beliefs than is the case.”

In the case of those who manage to get people to vote for them, it is often more simply put at “Do as I say, not as I do.” 

Sadly, my self-imposed scale of idiocy has been breached yet again. 

The latest rant from my Cat-on-the-Ceiling is again about Dr Dismal the so-called leader of Taipei City. 

He, and his party, are laughing off the fact he broke Government advice by not wearing a mask when he should. He is part of this country’s government and if as he admits he is so moronic he doesn’t understand the rules he should not be Mayor, much less a doctor with peoples’ lives directly in his hands.   

OK Doc, next time you see a patient or are in an operating theatre don’t wear a mask and laugh it off when you spread infection. Best try not to forget, eh? Tie a knot in your handkerchief, or something.  

The shameless laughing-off of something like this contrasts sharply with other leaders caught out in similar circumstances, and there are many.

They have genuinely apologised because they knew they are in the wrong and need to say sorry because they have jobs where they tell other people how to behave. They know they are accountable and behave in an honourable and respectful manner.

To laugh it off as 'Oops, sorry, tee, hee..it was only a song' shows a staggering lack of respect for the public who have had their lives controlled by Covid regulations for the past two years. 

Maybe Mayor Malfunction caught the hypocrisy virus from the equally appalling British Prime Minister Borish Johnson who is rightfully being asked to resign as a result of attending Christmas parties at No 10 Downing Street at a time when gatherings were banned under Covid rules his government put in place. 

His constant lies were initially “all guidance was followed completely at No. 10” a week later “I have been repeatedly assured since these allegations emerged that there was no party” and “I can tell you I certainly broke no rules” and “nobody had told me that what we were doing was…against the rules.”

Police yesterday issued fines on 20 people who attended the Downing Street parties and more are expected to follow. Johnson himself could be fined. 

Let’s not let someone in Taiwan who thinks it’s OK to laugh off rule breaking and disrespect the public get into a position of greater power. Let Johnson’s outright lies be a warning of where it all might end.

Tinkerty tonk...    

今天的每日一字是偽善/虛偽/表裡不一/(Hypocrisy),這個定義為:聲稱擁有比實際情況更高的標準或更崇高的信念。

對那些設法讓人們投票給他們的人來說,更簡單的說法是:照我說的做,而不是照我做的做。

很遺憾我設定的白痴程度儀表板今天又超標,那就是超過一定愚昧程度我才會評論某些政治人物,這個時刻再度來臨。

我家那頭憤怒時就會咆哮衝上屋頂的貓又黏在天花板上了,因為那個所謂的首都市長和他的政黨,對違反政府的口罩規定一笑置之,請注意他是這個政府的一員。

坦率地說,如果他承認自己如此愚蠢無法理解這個簡單的政府規定,他不應該成為市長,更不用說想當一個與病人生命息息相關的醫生。好吧這位醫生,下次當你看病人或在手術室裡不戴口罩傳播病毒造成感染時,最好也能一笑置之。

不過我希望你最好不要忘記戴口罩好嗎?也許你可以在你的手帕一角打個結什麼的提醒自己,很多英國父母都是這樣告訴他們的孩子。

這種無恥的一笑置之與其他面對類似情況的政治人物形成鮮明對比,因為有很多人真誠地道歉,他們知道自己錯了需要說對不起,因為他們必須以身作則,知道要對自己的言行負責,並以體面和讓人尊重的方式行事。

以「哎呀抱歉啦,不過是唱首歌而已」打哈哈帶過,表示此人對過去兩年來生活一直受到防疫限制的民眾,完全缺乏尊重。

也許台灣這位故障的市長先生,是從同樣駭人聽聞的英國首相強生那裡感染了「虛偽」的病毒。最近有人很合理地要求首相辭職,因為在他的政府規定Covid期間禁止聚會的期間,他參加了唐寧街 10 號首相官邸的聚會,他們在聖誕節和新年期間喝酒吃起司慶祝。

他一連串的謊言最初是「唐寧街10號完全遵循所有防疫指導原則」,一週後變成「自從這些指控出現以來,幕僚一再向我保證沒有聚會」和「我可以告訴你,我當然沒有違反任何規定」和「沒有人告訴我,我們的所作所為……違反了規定。」

警方展開正式調查後終於在昨天對參加唐寧街派對的20人處以罰則,預計警方還會宣布更多違法行為。

我們不能讓那些認為違法可以一笑置之的人在政壇獲得更大的權力,希望英國首相強生徹頭徹尾的謊言是一種警告,讓此類行為不再發生。

Tinkerty Tonk… 掰掰。  



Tuesday, March 29, 2022

Delusions of Grandeur?

I’ve written before about the worrying underlying forces at work within the personality of one of Taiwan’s prominent figures, and poked some good natured fun at the man and his immediate family. 

To my mind they are figures of fun and not to be taken seriously, as they say and do things that clearly show they are unfit for high office. 

Taiwanese are sensible and pragmatic people who will also see them as having little more than entertainment value, and have proved they are even now unfit for the office that luck and circumstance has allowed them to occupy. 

My sincere hope is this particular one will disappear down the plughole of history when his term is over, and voters then can redirect their attention to the important and smarter people in the public eye and what the political debate in Taiwan should really be about.  

I said a while back I had a self-imposed scale of idiocy and would not write about this individual unless they said, or did, something spectacularly stupid. Sadly, that time has come.

Declaring yourself as ‘unique’. We are all unique in one way or another. Physical manifestations like fingerprints and DNA are obvious, but we also all have unique personalities. None of us think or act in an identical way to others. 

That’s not to say there are not unique individuals scattered through history who have made their mark on the world.

Hitler, Stalin, Mao, Churchill, Abraham Lincoln, George Washington, Einstein, Nelson Mandela to name but a few. Add to that Jesus, Napoleon, Muhammad and William Shakespeare…you get the idea. 

It’s obvious that we can’t check whether any of these in this short list declared themselves ‘unique’ before they actually proved they were, although Einstein was famously self-deprecating.

It seems to me to declare yourself unique among your peers before you have actually achieved very much shows a staggering level of arrogance and complacency that is ill suited to high office and is akin to delusions of grandeur. One wonders who in my short list above considered themselves unique before they achieved greatness, I’ll leave you to draw your own conclusions. 

If you Google ‘delusions of grandeur’ it says - Specifically, a delusion of grandeur is a person's belief that they are someone other than who they are, such as a supernatural figure or a celebrity. A delusion of grandeur may also be a belief that they have special abilities, possessions, or powers.

I won’t go on to describe what it says about people who display such symptoms but look back at God Complex and Dunning-Kruger Effect and you will get the idea. 

I’ll not even start about the signals that publicly comparing yourself to long dead Chinese Emperor who had an unbalanced wife, sends to people. Maybe the signal is you don’t know your history before blurting such things out. (Many thanks to the history scholar who pointed this out to me)  

One wonders what the next press conference will yield in terms of a painful to watch self-harm performance. It’s like watching people debase themselves on reality TV or, at the extreme, Jackass. I don’t suppose he will ever attempt to skateboard off a shed roof into a swimming pool, although he seems to be attempting the political equivalent.  

As I think I’ve said before, it’s like trying to drag your eyes away from an awful road accident…you can’t help but look…but it’s painful and messy. 

His so-called advisors really should watch his last performance carefully… illogical statement followed illogical statement. The government was bad for imposing quarantine as it damaged the economy…the government was bad because they were not doing enough to stop imported cases.

As usual he came up with none of his own or his parties' ideas and just ranted.  

They, his advisors, need to let him calm down and talk to him in a dark room, sitting quietly with a cup of milky tea and gently tell him some truths… 

If they dare, to someone who thinks he is somehow “unique” in the world.   

Tinkerty tonk...

Friday, March 25, 2022

The Dilemma of the Bully vs Peace Balance

The German philosopher Georg Hegel (1770-1831) famously said, “The only thing that we learn from history is that we learn nothing from history.” 

It is a truism so profound that was later stolen by philosopher George Santayana (1863-1952), originally from Spain but raised and educated in the United States who said “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it” and by the great British statesman Winston Churchill (1874-1965) who said “Those that fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it.”

I prefer Hegel’s powerful original, and, while intensely wise, continues to beg the question… Why?

At one level you need go no further than YouTube and channels like ‘myworldisgettingdumber’ who interview people on camera and this happens…

Q) Who fought in the Vietnam War? A) The United States (pause) and Korea. 

Q) Who fought in the Korean War? A) I don’t know. 

Q) Who fought in WWI? A) George Washington. 

Q) Who fought in WWI? A) England…Q) Against who? A) The United States. 

I could go on, but you get the idea. I should add that not all those interviewed were young people.

When I was teaching at some of the Universities here in Taiwan I was always amazed at the low level of world history knowledge among students, particularly about WWII, the biggest conflict in human history, the echoes of which continue to reverberate around the globe 80 years later. It killed an estimated 50 to 85 million people and fundamentally shaped the world we live in today.

I’m going to ignore American inventor and entrepreneur Henry Ford’s (1863-1947) now infamous quote that “history is bunk” because there is controversy around whether those were his actual words, and the fact he spent years trying to ‘clarify’ and ‘spin’ his adage so it made him look less of a fool.

It is clear we can learn from history. You go to a restaurant and the food is rubbish, you don’t go  back. You learn from history. Human actions and animal instinct are all built on either learning from history and experience, or inherited learning. 

In the current global turmoil over Ukraine it is no surprise that politicians, scholars, journalists and anyone who takes an interest in world affairs are looking back at events like WWII, and drawing parallels with how the world’s nations at peace reacted to and dealt with aggressive and bullying nations like Germany and Japan at the time. There are many other similar situations scattered along the timeline of human history. 

This is when you run into the dilemma of what is the correct response? There is a critical balance between stopping a belligerent nation or dictator with force and risking tipping the entire situation over the edge to a much worse and damaging conflict. 

Perhaps the most famous example of this, in the west at least, was the hapless British statesman Neville Chamberlain and his foreign policy of appeasement with the Munich Agreement on 30 September 1938 This ceded the German-speaking Sudetenland region of Czechoslovakia to Nazi Germany led by German Chancellor Adolf Hitler in exchange for an assurance by Hitler that we would go no further. The Germans broke the agreement and invaded Poland on 1 September 1939, beginning the Second World War.

It could be argued that this policy of appeasement and allowing Germany to take an inch, encouraged them to take a mile. Herein lies the dilemma when nations want nothing but peace, are faced with bullying nations who appear only set on their own interests and gains at the expense of others. 

At the time of the Munich agreement, appeasement may have seemed like a better policy, rather than risk a repeat of the horrendous slaughter of WWI and the mincing machine of the trench warfare of 1914-1918. Bear in mind the Munich agreement with Hitler was signed barely 20 years after the end of WWI and appeasement must have seemed like a better option than risking another bloody fight with Germany.

After the First World War, when Austria-Hungary was dismembered the Sudeten Germans found themselves living in the new country of Czechoslovakia. The similarity of Hitler wanting the Sudetenland back, is not dissimilar to Putin wanting Ukraine back after it regained its independence in 1991, following the dissolution of the Soviet Union. It is no small prize as it is the second-largest country by area in Europe after Russia.

The west’s acute response to Putin’s actions with sanctions going beyond what anyone really expected, reflects a deep-seated mistrust of Russia's intentions and fears he will go further, as did Hitler in 1938. The hope is to throttle the invasion by starving it of funds and materials, rather than outright military action with boots-on-the-ground risking a global escalation. 

It should be remembered that this is an ongoing war which began with the Russian annexation of Crimea in 2014 which was largely ignored by the west. “If the West and the whole world had raised their voices against the invasion of Crimea in 2014, would we have faced today’s picture?,” Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan said earlier this month. While not the most level-headed of leaders, Erdogan has a fair point. 

Did ignoring the situation in Crimea embolden Putin to take another step believing the west would just sit back and ignore it because it did not want to upset the apple-cart of energy supply and global geo-politics. If he did think that he was clearly mistaken, but it’s too late now, and did the international lack of reaction to Crimea result in the misery and deaths happening in Ukraine now?

Whose ‘fault’ is it? Putin for being a dictator seeking to expand his empire, or the west for pretty much standing idly by and allowing him to get away with the annexation of part of Ukraine eight years ago. 

Looking around the world there are other dangerous situations that have been brewing for years that have only received mild rebukes from the west. The obvious one is, of course, the South China Sea, which has seen China ride roughshod and bully small nations as it militarised islands and atolls in what can only be described as a giant land-grab in the heart of Asia. 

Speaking alongside President Barack Obama in 2015 Chinese President Xi Jinping said. 

“Relevant construction activities that China is undertaking in the Nansha (Spratly) Islands do not target or impact any country, and China does not intend to pursue militarization”. History shows how empty that assurance was when you look at satellite pictures of the island and atolls now and the mass of military equipment they contain.  

Trust is an important issue in global geopolitics. When the bonds of trust are broken, violence is seldom far behind despite the best efforts of more level-headed politicians and diplomats.

While no country can rely on other countries to help it out in times of crisis, Ukraine is proving that the world views dictators and bullies in a historical context, and there reaches a point where they will intervene to protect the innocent, protect fairness and democracy and maintain global peace. In today’s globalised society the bonds of interconnection are strong and outright aggression will not be tolerated for fear of where it will lead. 

It is a well founded fear, as the events of 1939 to 1945 and the aggression of the powerful nations of Germany and Japan proved only too well. In today’s world there are different aggressors and the world knows only too well what happens if you let them go too far.

After the events of the past month in Ukraine, I’m frankly amazed there are still some in Taiwan who say it’s all hopeless and no one, in particular the United States, will come to Taiwan’s aid if the worst happens. To do so is to embrace appeasement and throw your hands up in surrender and utterly misses the point that Taiwan is far closer to the United States than Ukraine ever was.  

Of course you cannot wholly rely on other countries, but to decry attempts to forge global friendships with potential allies as apparently useless is abject, weak and demonstrates a belief that appeasement is the only way.  

It shows not only a lack of understanding of history and the role the United States has played in fighting on the side of freedom and democracy, particularly against the forces of communism and dictatorships, but a personality that is devoid of pride or dignity, or has the smallest scintilla of trust in others to do the right thing.      

One would be forgiven for coming to the conclusion that those who send such signals are not fully on the side of Taiwan’s democracy, muchless willing to fight for it. 

Tinktery tonk...



Thursday, March 17, 2022

Blood Sports

(中文在下方)

I’ve never been a fan of blood sports like bull-fighting, fox-hunting, or hunting in general for that matter.

I find it cruel and unnecessary with the only real excuse for indulging in them is to get some kind of perverse pleasure in supposedly outsmarting one of our dumb chums in the animal kingdom. 

Now, while it may be true that sometimes you meet people and think “Wow, my cat is way smarter than this person”, broadly speaking blood sports take the form of a much greater intelligence and intellect pitting itself against a creature that largely functions on instinct alone.

So now when I hear “Peggy has said this..” or “Now, she has said that..” or hear uncontrolled giggling and “Oh my god, now she has said…” I get a little more worried that Mumbai is enjoying a rush of bloodlust as she hammers a creature of low intelligence and intellect which largely functions on instinct alone.

Although I guess in the case of Puerile Peggy, it cannot strictly speaking be called a blood sport as with blood sports the low intellect half of the act has no choice in the matter. A bull does not choose to enter the ring to be stabbed to death, a fox does not decide to be chased and torn apart by dogs, a goose does not decide to be blasted out of the air in a shower of blood, guts and feathers.

So why does PP, who appears to be not playing with a full deck, choose to set herself up in the way she does? Is it fair of me to criticize Mumbai for what is the internet equivalent of shooting fish in a barrel?

I guess another reason I should not be worried is that perhaps both sides of the Facebook Fisticuffs are getting something out of the blood being spilled. One side a purely sadistic pleasure... and the other a bizarre masochistic fulfillment of public humiliation on a regular basis. 

Maybe it’s a win-win. 

Tinkerty tonk…  

《 血腥狩獵》

我向來不喜歡鬥牛、獵狐或任何會見血的的狩獵運動。

我覺得沉迷其中的真正藉口是殘忍,而那是不必要的,狩獵運動只是為了在動物王國中智取一個愚蠢的對手,進而獲得某種不正當的樂趣。

當然很有可能有時你遇到一些人就會立刻想:「哇,我的貓都比這個人聰明得多」。但廣義來說,血腥狩獵是一方採取了更高的智力或形式,而對抗的一方單憑生物本能。

所以當我聽到「PG說這個……」或「現在她說那個……」或聽到不受控制的咯咯笑聲和「我的天哪,現在她說……」時,我開始有點擔心,因為我知道孟買正在錘擊一個純靠生物反應的低等生物,而且她似乎引以為樂。

其實這個「幼稚佩琪」( Puerile Peggy ) 的遊戲,嚴格來說不能被稱為血腥狩獵,因為在真正的血腥對決中,智商較低的一方在此事別無選擇。例如公牛不會選擇進入鬥牛場被刺死,被獵狗追趕撕喉不是狐狸的決定,野鵝不會選擇進入狩獵遊戲被獵槍射中,讓自己的內臟和羽毛在空中炸飛血肉模糊。

那麼,為什麼「幼稚佩琪」自願選擇進入這種情境之中,而不好好出牌呢?再仔細想想,我擔心批評孟買在網路上玩著相當於在水桶裡打魚 (shooting fish in a barrel) 是公平的嗎?

我想我不應該擔心的另一個原因是,當血流成河時,在臉書上拳打腳踢 (Facebook Fisticuffs) 的雙方可能都得到了一些東西。一方面是純粹的虐待滿足,另一方則是受到定期公開羞辱時的奇怪自虐滿足。

也許這是雙贏的。

Tinkerty tonk… 掰掰。

Saturday, March 12, 2022

Lacking intellect? Try attention seeking instead

There is an obvious and growing trend among politicians around the world to replace their lack of intellect, insightfulness and worldly knowledge with blatant attention seeking to keep them in the public eye.

The oxygen of publicity is a well known phenomenon, as is the old cliche - There is no such thing as bad publicity.

Until a few years ago there have been the relatively harmless forms of attention seeking we have always witnessed, from rock stars smashing up hotel rooms, reality show celebrities taking their clothes off, children throwing tantrums by the sweet counter in the supermarket and cats and dogs jumping all over you when you are trying to quietly watch the television. 

Some of those make tabloid headlines while others do little more than mildly irritate us, but there is a more sinister side when extremist organisations court publicity by claiming ownership of atrocities they did not commit, simply to get their name in the media. 

Somewhere between the two lies the outpourings of politicians who lack the talent to get attention through promoting different, well thought out and sensible alternative policies, and who instead desperately resort to grabbing headlines by leveraging their existing voice by saying something outrageous. 

It is akin to an ageing rock star dropping his trousers in a hotel lobby. It is bound to make headlines and get him talked about…but it means precisely nothing in the greater scheme of things.

The danger is when minor politicians, or worse, those politicians who aspire to be future leaders, indulge in this kind of pants-dropping publicity seeking. It eats into the trust the wider public has in democracy and government, either by the less well informed being taken in by it, or that it sows seeds of doubt in the minds of some of the other observers. 

Perhaps most blatant of examples are people like Marjorie Taylor Greene in the US who has a long history of embracing baseless conspiracy theories. These range from claiming election voter fraud in 2020, to floating the possibility that the California wildfire that killed 84 people in 2018 were in some way engineered by the then Governor Jerry Brown because he wanted to clear the path for a high speed rail project. She also floated the possibility that the fires could have been started by “lasers or blue beams of light” shot down from space by allies of Brown who were said to be in the solar energy industry.

Both Facebook and Twitter have banned Greene because of her lies and misdirection, but the trend continues with the likes of the gun-loving Lauren Boebert, who, alongside Greene heckled President Joe Biden during his State of the Union address earlier this month in an obvious display of attention seeking. It worked, they made newspaper headlines with their antics. 

Closer to home we have Taipei Mayor Ko Wen-je who described the ruling DDP party as ‘shameless’. It achieved nothing politically, added nothing to the debate, but it nevertheless achieved what they wanted and that was to make headlines and perhaps sow some seeds of lies and doubts in some people’s minds. Particularly those who are more easily influenced by such antics.

The same appears to be happening closer to home with recent hysterics about an imagined  egg shortage and equally non-existent electricity shortage from some quarters of the political establishment here. These together with rants about media influence, current government policy and the professional integrity of Health Minister Chen Shizhong from a less serious party. All of which can be classed as attention and headline seeking rants with no real substance or evidence to back them up. 

While attention seeking bluster and tantrums have grown with the advent of more accessible media, mostly social media, to give them a bigger platform, it is also true the same games have been played in the past aimed at targeting mainstream media headlines. 

Descending into the murky waters of attention seeking is not risk free. Overdo it and people see through it, find it irritating and ignore you. You also need to get the timing right as if you say something deliberately outrageous one day, the next day a showbiz couple announce their divorce and immediately take you off the front page. 

While in most parts of the world attention seeking is commonplace on the political stage, it is far less common to see the relatives of politicians wading in on mainstream and social media with politically motivated comments. 

There have, of course, been many influential partners of country leaders, Michelle Obama is a good example, but in the main they do not comment on political issues and work in the background on things like social issues. Obama concentrated on her  "Let's Move!" program to help reduce childhood obesity and her "Reach Higher Initiative" which  provides students with the guidance and resources to go on to post-high school educations and professional careers.

There appears to be a worrying trend in Taiwan where partners, one in particular, and even parents of political figures are regularly pontificating on political issues. This cannot be healthy for democracy simply because they have neither the political expertise or, more importantly, the mandate to insert themselves into any ongoing political debate.

Those close to influential political figures have an obligation not to set themselves up as political commentators. Of course they are free to have their own opinions but to use power-by-proxy by dint of a personal relationship is morally wrong. Indeed, there are historical examples where the use of inherited and supposed political legitimacy has not ended well.          

While this only taints a democracy to a small degree and no one really takes what these people say too seriously, it is worrying that some unelected individuals feel they have the ability to influence the public by dint of family relationships.

Helping your husband or wife with their career and being supportive is fair enough, but inserting yourself into the political debate when you have no mandate to do so is really a step too far.

Tinkerty Tonk...

For the Voicetank Chinese version click here

Sunday, March 6, 2022

Ukraine's Tragedy a Silver Lining For Taiwan

Thanks to Visual Capitalist for the use of this graphic https://www.visualcapitalist.com/map-explainer-ukraine/ Please click on this link for a large version of the graphic and more details about Ukraine.

A contact of mine working for the United Nations in Europe sent me the following ‘joke’ email which is currently doing the rounds in diplomatic circles. 

The Subject line on the email is Putin's Genius. (My additions to the original adding context are in italics are for the benefit of the reader)

--------------------------------  

✅ He united Ukraine

✅ He caused that Ukraine got armed with weapons from the West

✅ He managed to unite the West on a scale not seen since the end of the IIWW

✅ He managed to empower the Eastern flank of NATO 

✅ He managed to make a World Hero out of a comedian and created a Statesman out of him 

✅ He managed to eliminate Russia from almost every international sport event 

✅ He managed to bury the Russian stock exchange 

✅ He managed to closed down Nord Stream 2 (a system of offshore natural gas pipelines in Europe, running under the Baltic Sea from Russia to Germany)

✅ He managed to bring Ukraine to becoming a member of the EU 

✅ He caused that President Duda (of Poland) is praised by the whole World (rightfully so); making him one of the closest allies of (Ukraine’s) President Zelenskyy (they speak daily) 

✅ He managed to throw Russia out of the Swift system (Swift is an international organisation facilitating transactions between banks) 

✅ He managed to freeze his own accounts and those of his oligarch friends 

✅ He made Switzerland drop its neutral position made Sweden and Finland think of finally joining NATO 

✅ He made Germany change their approach to Russia by 180 degrees

Genius !!  Absolute genius , he knows how to enter the history books ….

-----------------------------

In my decades working as a journalist for an international news agency, I came to highly respect diplomats and I have to admit there is a close affinity and much contact between the two groups. Diplomats are often the unsung heroes when it comes to sorting out bad situations and to my mind are seldom given proper credit. Politicians tend to hog all the limelight. 

That light hearted email circulating amongst diplomats is telling and has, in fact, encouraged me to write this piece pointing out that the massive downside to Putin’s actions may make China think again about invading Taiwan by force. If it thinks there would be few repercussions it should look at the sanctions being levied against Russia now which are far more severe than anyone expected.

For decades, China has conveniently ‘forgotten’ or ignored the wording of agreements they have signed, for decades it has rode roughshod over far less powerful nations in the South China Sea, for years it has bullied other nations by dint of its economic strength. Diplomats and politicians have been well aware of this behaviour and decided that to ignore it is better for the greater good, but at the same time would have been working on plans to counter it, if the need arises.

As a self confessed fan of the diplomatic community, perhaps I overestimate their perception and ability to plan forward, but I doubt it. In the course of my 30+ career as a journalist I have stood in rooms filled with diplomats and politicians, believe me, the diplomats were the smartest ones. Maybe because they realised that being a senior diplomat is a far better lifestyle than being a politician, plus the fact you have real power to influence outcomes in a sensible way.

As the invasion of Ukraine by Russia drags into its second week, it appears fairly clear that things are not going as quickly, or as well, as Putin had envisaged and his expectations of a quick and relatively bloodless invasion have been dashed. Stories of him ‘fuming’ at the military and instructions to use internationally illegal weapons would seem to back this perception up, although it is impossible to get to the truth in the fog of war we are all witnessing. 

The strength of the international sanctions has come as a surprise and seem to be getting more acute as the days go by. Even famously neutral Switzerland, which clung to its neutrality throughout the near apocalypse of WWII, felt compelled to sanction Russia five days into the war. I can’t help thinking that if Russia had walked into Ukraine easily in a couple of days, Switzerland would not have acted as they did. 

All this must be giving China pause for thought when it comes to Taiwan. Its overflying by fighter jets on almost a daily basis in the past months and war-like rhetoric from various generals and government officials, now perhaps looks like they have under-estimated the global mood of democratic countries not willing to let powerful nations run rough-shod over weaker ones. 

Particularly in Europe with Germany and in Asia with Japan, history amply demonstrates that you need to be wary of those who would attack and bully and be afraid of the politics behind such moves. The world has learned, and China needs to take note as it eyes Taiwan. 

Add to this the fact Taiwan is part of the United States front line of defence against potential aggression from China and forms part of a long chain of defence agreements south across the Pacific with various other nations from Japan and The Philippines to Australia.

Leading any potential military threat to Taiwan would be, of course, the United States. It would have to look at the Taiwan Relations Act (Public Law 96-8, 22 U.S.C. 3301 et seq.) put in pace in 1979 when the US recognised China rather than Taiwan.

When you look through the act a few things jump out at you. 

“To declare that peace and stability in the area are in the political, security, and economic interests of the United States, and are matters of international concern” is one such, as is “Clear that the United States decision to establish diplomatic relations with the People’s Republic of China rests upon the expectation that the future of Taiwan will be determined by peaceful means." 

Also, “To consider any effort to determine the future of Taiwan by other than peaceful means, including by boycotts or embargoes, a threat to the peace and security of the Western Pacific area and of grave concern to the United States.”

This is all on top of the ongoing commitment “To provide Taiwan with arms of a defensive character”. It is designed “To maintain the capacity of the United States to resist any resort to force or other forms of coercion that would jeopardise the security, or the social or economic system, of the people on Taiwan.”

Aside from the US commitment to protecting Taiwan, if there has been global condemnation of Russia’s invasion of Ukraine, there is bound to be an acute reaction to any military moves against Taiwan by China and in such a case, heavy global sanctions against China like we have seen against Russia will be something it must now be taking into consideration. 

If China is looking at Taiwan in the same way Russia looked at Ukraine when it made its unprovoked invasion for perceived historical reasons…it perhaps now has to think again.

Tinkerty Tonk...

Saturday, March 5, 2022

Welcome to Taiwan - Home Covid Capers

(中文在下方)

Since I retired from full-time employment and a job which meant I had to be on call 24/7, I have been extremely happy not to have to carry a mobile. In fact, I delight in the fact I never quite know where my phone is, although if I can’t find it I know it will most likely be somewhere at home… because I rarely carry it when I go out.

My divorce from the cell-network was extremely amicable and I have enjoyed the single life since. I am a mobile-free zone, a mobile-less man, I am mobile unfettered.   

However, all that changed during our second and third stints of the 7-7-7 quarantine period and almost as soon as we got back to the flat from the hotel, the phone rang. 

“Hello, I am the police,” said the nice lady on the other end. I thought the phrasing could have been better as it sounded like the kind of threat that would be shouted at you through a megaphone if you had just robbed a bank and were holed-up, gun-drawn, at a local Seven-11. 

“English or Chinese,” she demanded. She had a delightful sing-song voice which made her phrasing all the more sinister. Like the psychotic villain who slowly turns to make eye-contact and quietly says “Ah, Mr Bond, we have been expecting you.”

“How do you feel? Are you comfortable?” She inquired. I was by this time beginning to get the hang of the tone of the conversation and assured her I was ‘comfortable’ and we had arrived safely from the hotel. 

“OK, tomorrow…I call”, she said and put the phone down. 

Barely minutes later my SMS beeped into life, the close scrutiny of our health had begun. 

The message asked me to reply…

1 if everything was normal. (As far as anything in my life can be classed as ‘normal’ I thought.)

2 if I had a sore throat, runny nose, cough, difficulty breathing, abnormal smell and taste and diarrhoea. (Good Lord, I thought, if I had that lot I’d likely not be in any fit state to pick up the phone, let alone reply.) 

3 was reserved for mysterious “other symptoms”. I was toying with the idea of replying 3 and telling them my ‘other symptom’ was going out of my mind because I’d been locked up for two weeks, but I guessed that wasn’t the kind of symptom they were talking about. 

So I replied with a 1 and put the phone down. Two minutes later Beep Beep! A message saying thank you for the message. OK fine. A short while later the phone rang with a recorded message asking me to press 1 if everything was normal, 2 if etc etc. OK I thought, I can relax now and go back into my normal mode of keeping away from the phone. 

It was not to be…a couple of hours later Beep Beep! This message told me I had left the flat and was in Tamsui followed by a call ten minutes later from, yep, the Cops. We assured them we were at home and eventually found out that because we are close to the river the mobile sometimes switched to another mast and the GPS registered the phone had moved. 

This continued throughout our confinement with around six messages arriving daily telling us we were in Tamsui. The Cops, perhaps not trusting us, called round on a couple of occasions to check. One of them advised us to buy a new mobile phone as the signal switch was likely happening because the phone was old. But how do we do that if we can’t go out? We asked, not unreasonably. He advised getting a friend to do it for us. We pointed out we had two days of quarantine left so there didn’t seem much point. 

The penultimate day arrived and a plague taxi came to take us to Tamsui, this time for real, for the final PCR test. Various messages arrived afterwards saying all was clear but not to go out until midnight the following day. 

The final seven days of the 7-7-7- were punctuated with the 1-2-3 messages until the final lateral flow test and the end of the entire process.

So I’m back to normal and keeping as far away from my mobile phone as possible, although I do miss all the attention. Particularly the sing-song lady Cop and her somewhat sinister threats…I wonder what she’s like in real life? 

Tinkerty Tonk… 

自從我從 24/7 全天候待命的記者工作退休以來,我很高興不必隨身攜帶手機。事實上我非常高興退休後我永遠不知道手機在哪裡,不過如果我找不到,我還是知道它很可能在家裡的某個角落,因為我出去的時候通常也不帶手機。

我與手機離婚的過程很順利也很友好,之後我過著沒有手機的單身生活,我處於無手機的淨區,我是不受手機影響的人!

然而在抵達台灣 7+7+7 隔離期間,這一切開始發生變化,差不多是我們從隔離旅館回到家中的那一瞬間,電話就響了。

 「你好,我是警察,」電話那頭是一位聽起來很友善的女士,不過我認為措辭可能可以再調整一些,因為那聽起來像是一種威脅。就像是你剛剛搶劫了一家銀行,並且持槍佔據當地的 7-11,警察就會在外面通過擴音器向你如此喊話。

「英文或中文?」電話那頭這麼問道。這位女士的聲音悅耳動聽,但卻讓問話顯得更加陰險。就像007電影裡慢慢轉身的變態惡棍一樣,在與你眼神交會的那一剎那他低聲說:「啊,龐德先生,我們一直在等你。」

「你感覺如何? 一切都沒問題吧?」 她繼續問。這時候我已經開始掌握談話的氣氛了,並向她保證我很好,我們已經從隔離旅館安全抵達住家。「好吧,明天……我打電話,」她說完就掛電話。

不過是幾分鐘後,我的手機簡訊就響了,密切關心我們健康狀況的一週從此展開。

簡訊如下我必須選擇一項來回覆。

指揮中心關懷您自主健康管理身體狀況,一切正常,請回1,有發燒、喉嚨痛、流鼻水、咳嗽、呼吸困難、嗅味覺異常、腹瀉,請回2,其他症狀請回3。

1 如果一切正常。(就我生活中的任何事情都可以歸類為“正常”,我想。)

2 如果我發燒、喉嚨痛、流鼻水、咳嗽、呼吸困難、嗅味覺異常、腹瀉。(天哪,我想如果我有那麼多症狀,我可能無法檢查電話,更不用說回覆了。)

3 是神秘的「其他症狀」。其實我想回覆3 並告訴他們我的「其他症狀」是我快瘋了,因為我已經被關了一星期,但我猜這不是他們所說的那種症狀。

總之仔細讀完考慮後我按下1,然後把手機放在一邊。嗶嗶!指揮中心的感謝來了:謝謝您的配合,若有任何問題請撥打1922專線,指揮中心關心您。

很好!

不久之後手機又響了,這次是個錄音,要求我按 1 如果一切正常,如果是這樣那樣就按 2 等等。好吧我想,按完這個我現在可以放鬆一下,回到遠離電話的正常模式。

不是!幾個小時後嗶嗶!這次簡訊告訴我,我已經離開住處並在人在八里對面的淡水。幾分鐘後,是的,幾分鐘後警察打電話來了。我向警察保證我在家,最後他們發現因為我們的住處就在淡水河畔,手機定位有時會切換到另一個基地台,因此 GPS 記錄顯示我已經離開住處。

這種情況在我們第二個七天監禁期間一直持續,每天大約有六條簡訊告訴我們我們在淡水。也許因為不能完全信任我,警察每天都要打幾次電話來檢查。其中一位甚至登門拜訪還建議我購買一部新手機。因為我的手機很舊了,他認為這可能是問題。

但是如果我們不能出去,該怎麼做呢?我提出這個合理的問題。警察建議讓我們通知一個朋友去買手機送過來。我指出我們只剩幾天的隔離期,為此買新手機似乎沒有什麼意義。

倒數終於到了,一輛瘟疫計程車來接我們到淡水的一家醫院。這次是真的,我們進行最後一次的 PCR。結束之後我們收到各種簡訊,說一切都很清楚沒問題,但還是要等到第二天午夜之後才能出門。

至於7+7+7的最後 7 天,還是有不間斷的請回覆 1-2-3 簡訊點綴其間,直到最後一天回報快篩結果,整個過程才完全結束。

所以現在我的生活恢復了正常,也就是儘可能遠離手機,不過說真的我有點懷念那段時間感受到的關心和注意。特別是那位聲音悅耳的警察女士和她有點嚇人的我是警察的威脅……我想知道她在現實生活中是什麼樣?

 Tinkerty Tonk…掰掰。