The Great Chicken Conspiracy

It will be remembered as the great Chicken Conspiracy of 2022 when Mr Wannabe and his  KMT chums release a deluge of evidence proving the complete and prolonged absence of eggs in shops the length and breadth of the land is all the  government's fault. 

I mean, it must be true if one or two of their members have managed to take pictures of a few shelves empty of eggs, and recently call a press conference in the pouring rain to decry the lack of eggs and say how it’s all the governments fault.

Wow, a big story I thought and my journalistic instincts instantly kicked in. I knew I needed to quickly find out why on earth the government had let the people down so badly and screwed up the egg supply chain in such spectacular fashion that no eggs were available anywhere.

Frankly, I was shocked they could allow such a thing to happen.

It didn’t take long for my investigative nose-for-news to dig out the truth by driving along in the car and looking out of the window. “Isn’t that an egg shop which sells nothing but eggs and are there not huge trays of all sorts of eggs in trays outside?” I asked myself. You see how good an investigative journalist I am!

But I didn’t stop there. I also visited a local supermarket and, to my amazement, there were shelves full of eggs for sale. The sales lady was eyeing me suspiciously as I took pictures, probably thinking I had some kind of egg fixation. 

Could it be that there were actually plenty of eggs and Mr Wannabe and his KMT cohorts were talking chicken-shit? Surely not? I had to dig deeper for the facts…so I looked at Google for five minutes. 

It appears egg supply is cyclical in nature and waxes and wanes depending on things like the price of feed, demand over holiday periods and other seasonal factors. 

This was the case with the new year holiday period here coupled with Covid, which meant at this particular time there was a slightly more acute downturn in supply and a few shops here and there ran out for a few hours on a few days. 

On top of which, in some places, these daft and irresponsible KMT rants made some impressionable people rush out to hoard eggs in case the ‘shortage’ was genuine. 

So, ironically, any shortage anyone suffered was mainly due to KMT scaremongering which made a cyclical supply squeeze worse. 

Well done boys, you’ve done it yet again and proved you have no idea how to be an effective opposition party, that you have no fresh ideas of your own, and are struggling to find fault with the government that you are reduced to basically making stuff up. 

Tinkerty Tonk…