Welcome to Taiwan - Hotel Covid Capers

(中文在下方) At the quarantine hotel we were greeted on the steps by another fully suited-up astronaut who checked us in, a somewhat of a laborious process given the pile of Covid documentation we all have to deal with at the moment. 

With the preliminaries out of the way we were allowed access to the lobby which was devoid of people aside from one or two other fully suited spacemen pottering about looking bored. They barely looked up as we made our way to the lift lobby down a roped-off queue line designed to stop you escaping from the route to your cell… sorry, room.

The experience was definitely becoming a little more surreal. The feel of the whole affair certainly changed at this point, from the space-port theatricals at the airport to the more prison-like procedure of checking into the hotel.

That feeling continued to the 6th floor as we navigated through empty corridors to room 610 to find a note on the door announcing ‘Smith/Liu 5/2-13/2’. 

Now that really is something they do in prisons, I thought. In the corridor outside the door was a plastic stool and a large plastic tray, one for our jailers to deposit food and one for us to deposit our garbage. 

That was it, and our last human contact for a week.

The fair size room was clean, although a little old fashioned, and two big double beds made for a bit of extra comfort. 

Another plus was a street view so we could at least see people moving around and not feel like the zombie apocalypse had arrived and the city was devoid of other humans. 

We had booked hotel food for one and used Food Panda for the rest. The hotel food was actually pretty good after we asked them to switch to vegetarian after a dubious and slightly grey looking pork cutlet arrived on the first Sunday.

We had to get used to not answering the door immediately when the bell rang as the staff dropped off food. It was weird not seeing anyone when you opened the door, just a plastic bag of food sitting forlornly atop a cheap plastic stool. If they had had a hatch like a prison door, I’m sure they would have shoved our food in through and slammed the hatch shut.

Hotel food                                                           Panda food

It didn’t take long for the room to start looking ‘lived-in’ ie. a little squalid and more like a teenagers bedroom during exam time. Soon there were food boxes, coffee cups, open suitcases and clothes scattered about in that odd limbo you find yourself in sometimes when it’s not worth putting everything neatly away in cupboards because you are not there long enough, and being heartily sick of the untidiness.

The final day came and the PCR test people arrived at the hotel and we were allowed to go down to the lobby for that. The apparatus was straight out of Zombie Apocalypse but it was all very efficient and we were soon back in our cell to await the results. 

I had never seen one of these medical isolation screens before but the team which goes round doing the tests have it all stowed in a van and set up to do the tests. 

It is all very well organised and the medial staff are all very friendly and helpful.

The following day the plague taxi arrived to take us to the Bali flat where we have been ever since to the accompaniment of almost constantly beeping and ringing phones as the cops and the local council administration kept tabs on our movements…more of that in the next instalment. 

At least we have a better view while we spend another seven days in isolation. 

Tinkerty Tonk...

Click here for part 1 - Welcome to Taiwan - Airport Covid Capers

離開機場後我們抵達隔離旅館，在進門的台階上有另一位全副武裝的太空人迎接我們，幫我們辦理入住手續，但因為我們的手機裡有不少疫苗注射證明，PCR檢測結果以及入境文件，過程有點繁瑣，最後太空人決定我們可以上樓後慢慢再把文件寄給他們。

於是我們可以進入旅館大廳了，因為時候已經不早，大廳裡除了一兩個看起來有點無聊，一樣全副武裝連頭也不抬的太空人之外，空無一人。我們沿著紅色繩索圍起來的路徑前往電梯，這個路徑是為了防止你在前往牢房的途中脫逃。。。抱歉，我是說房間。

回到台灣進入隔離檢疫的經驗，現在肯定是更加超現實了，整個事件的感覺在此時發生了一點變化：從降落在機場的月球太空站，轉變成入住監獄般的旅館。

這種感覺一直持續到 6 樓，當我們穿過空蕩蕩的走廊到 610 房間時，在門上發現了一張告示，上面寫著“Smith/劉 5/2-12/2”。現在這真的像是監獄的電影場景了，我想。門外有一張塑膠凳子，地上有一個大塑膠托盤，凳子讓是獄卒放食物的，塑膠托盤則是讓我們放綁緊的垃圾袋，而且必須雙層。

就這樣，在做下一次PCR篩檢前，我們不會再有任何與人類的接觸。

這個房間雖然有點老式但是很寬敞也很乾淨，有兩張大雙人床讓人倍感舒適。另一個優點是有個大窗戶面對車水馬龍的街道，雖然依規定不能打開但至少我們可以看到街上的人們四處走動，而不是覺得殭屍片中的大災難已經到來，城市裡沒有半個人。

我們向旅館訂了單人三餐，另一份則有勞 Foodpanda。在第一個週日發現便當裡有一塊可疑且略帶灰色的豬排後，我們要求改送素食，之後旅館三餐都非常美味可口。

當旅館員工把食物放在塑膠凳子上門鈴響起時，我們不得不習慣於不立刻去開門。送餐人員離去後打開門看見空無一人的長廊真的很奇怪，只有一個塑膠袋裝著便當，孤零零地坐在便宜的塑膠凳子上。

如果房間門有一個像牢房門上一樣的小門，我敢肯定他們會把食物從那裡塞進來，然後砰地一聲關上。

讓房間開始看起來像是有人住不需要花多少時間，有點不太整潔，但更像是考試期間的青少年臥室。很快地你就發現吃完或是沒吃完的食物盒、咖啡杯、打開的行李箱和衣服散落在各處。

這是一種有點怪異的情況，就是你覺得不值得花時間把所有的東西整齊地放進櫃子裡，因為你停留的時間不夠長，但是你又厭倦了周遭的雜亂。

這一天終於到了，PCR 檢測人員抵達旅館大廳，我們被允許離開房間下樓。那些設備我看起來根本是直接來自殭屍啟示錄，但這一切都非常有效率，我們很快就回到了我們的牢房等待結果。

我以前從未見過這些醫療隔離屏風，屏風上有兩個長長的手套，這些醫護人員應該是輪流到各地去做採檢，一切都井井有條，他們也非常友善而且樂於回答任何問題。

隔天瘟疫計程車來了，把我們帶到回八里淡水河畔的家中，從我們進門的那一刻開始，就有不間斷的電話簡訊鈴聲加震動，因為派出所警察和區公所的關懷人員密切關心著我們的行動……我會在下一集連載中多告訴你們一些內幕。

不過至少接下來七天的居家隔離，面對淡水河風景比在旅館時好多了。

Tinkerty Tonk...掰掰。