A Doctor Writes

As a doctor I am often asked “Should I buy a shopping trolley?”

When I was studying at the top university in Taiwan we undertook extensive and well-funded research, and founded an institute which now works tirelessly to try and negate the condition which is now commonly known in medical circles as Toomanybagsitis.

I have advocated publicly many times that Toomanybagsitis is a serious condition, needs immediate attention and a switch to a shopping trolley to cure the condition is essential.       

Symptoms of this condition can first become apparent when you open the boot of your car and hundreds of ‘Bags for life’ or various plastic bags in various stages of decay can be detected. This might also be accompanied by opening the cupboard under your sink and not being able to fit any more detergent bottles in there because there are a mass of old plastic bags clogging it up. 

This can become a serious condition and a visit to your doctor is essential so he can advise on a suitable form of treatment. This could include a course of Shoppingtrollyolin which can be in tablet form or more simply administered via a visit to the local ten-dollar shop. 

Unfortunately there can be some side-effects which include bouts of depression because the bags took up less room than the shopping trolley, which is now cluttering up your spare bedroom. 

(Full disclosure - Neither I, or my family, own shares in Shopping Trolleys R Us, World of Shopping Trolleys, or Wholesale Shopping Trolleys. I was not paid for the forward I wrote for Professor Wobbly Wheels definitive work The Benefits of Shopping Trolleys.) 

Tinkerty Tonk...   

《醫師診療室》

作為一名醫生，我經常被問到一個問題：「 我應該買菜籃車嗎？」

當我在台灣頂尖大學習醫時，我們進行了廣泛且資金充足的研究，並成立了一個研究所，該研究所現在還在努力不懈消除現在醫學界普遍稱為囤積購物袋 (Toomanybagsitis) 的病症。

我曾多次公開主張，「囤積購物袋症」是一種嚴重的疾病，需要立即留意，改用菜籃車來治療這種疾病是不可少的過程。

當你打開後車箱的那一秒鐘，這種病症昭然若揭，你可以立刻檢測到至少六個環保袋，或處於不同腐爛階段的各式塑膠袋。這個病症也可以在打開水槽下方的櫥櫃時發現，你無法放入更多的清潔劑瓶瓶罐罐，因為大量舊塑膠袋一開門就滿出來了。

這可能會越來越嚴重，因此你必須去看醫生，以便醫生提出合適的治療方式。他可能開一個「菜籃車療程 」(Shoppingtrollyolin) 給你，那可能是一些藥片，或者更簡單的方式，就是走一趟附近的小北百貨。

不幸的是，這種治療可能會帶來一些副作用，例如沮喪。因為原來那些袋子的體積總和，遠遠小於菜籃車佔據的空間，菜籃車現在得放在你的客房裡。

完全利益揭露 - 我或我的家人都沒有菜籃車反斗城(Shopping Trolley Are Us)、菜籃車世界 (World of Shopping Trolleys) 或菜籃車大批發 (Wholesale Shopping Trolleys) 的股份。我為搖擺輪先生的曠世鉅作《菜籃車的一百個好處》寫序時，也沒有收取任何費用。

Tinkerty Tonk… 掰掰